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Crucifixion or Resurrection

The last few weeks have been a time of deep contemplation. Watching different Facebook posts and seeing different views and perspectives has been like making a batch of cookies…1/2 cup of joy, 2 cups of grace, and 3 tablespoons of truth; mix well and add love as needed. Bake until the golden light radiates with pearls of wisdom – sustain and allow the world to be just as it is.

We have all heard about illusions and the new age movement. That New Age is ‘nonsense theory’ is based on Pollyanna syndrome – think positive, do a poster board, add positive affirmations and your life will be the American Dream. 

If we are not clear in our unconscious thoughts, it will sabotage our intention. That is the part left out of the New Age propaganda. Looking on the outside to get our desires met and fail to look on the inside, to clear and change habitual mind patterns, therefore projecting judgment on others and blame them for our problems.

What most don’t understand is that, it’s our unconscious thoughts and emotions that drive us; that is why we are an addicted society. It is not just to alcohol, drugs, and sex, but to food, sports, TV, texting, videos, thoughts, self-punishment, reactive behavior, drama…and the list continues. The biggest addiction of all is judgment – judgment of self and judgment of others. 

 I often think of Jesus Christ on the cross with nails in his wrists and ankles hanging high for everyone to see. I wonder how he managed to be sustained in his energy/emotional field without judgment, yet be in total love and forgiveness. Remember His famous words, “Forgive them Father, for they do not know.”  How could he not feel betrayed?  Why did he not scream and shout, ‘You’re all insane!’

 Because He knew…He stayed out of the way, by not plugging into judgment, thereby allowing God to intervene. When we don’t plug into that energy field (and charge it with more negative energy), it loses the charge and gives God and the Universe, a heads up. We step out of grandiosity, we’re not judging and are allowing the Grace of God to take care of His children, we are no longer givingup our freewill to judge. No longer judge and jury toward ourselves and others.

Our judgment is a cry for help, born out of fear or pain; it causes separation within ourselves as well as with those around us, which blocks the heart from opening that allows God to intervene on our behalf.

Because Jesus was so sustained and did not judge, God was able to intervene so we could learn about judgment. We have spent lifetimes in judgment — which only perpetuates the problem by adding more energy to that unseen energetic field. How big does that energetic field need to get before we blow each other up? This could be a ‘true nuclear catastrophe’.

Jesus knew He did not want to participate in that energy and add fuel to the fire.  However, He allowed nature to take its course and let us learn lessons of judging by experiencing the pain and suffering that kind of energy carries.

When we allow and accept each other as we are, without judging, and go to compassion, change occurs; this is unconditional love. Even if we are a different color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, whatever our conditioning, we are judging as right or wrong. This is what causes war and divides/conquers the human species.

When we don’t judge, we resurrect — we ascend toward Heaven, climbing another step of Jacob’s ladder; so one day we will resurrect our own souls and be as free as Jesus showed us to be. His entire life was such an example to live by.

The difference between judgment and observation: Judgment has a high emotional wattage charge from past experiences or conditioning. While observations have no emotional charge, calling a fact a fact, yet being neutral with the emotions and energy. For example: My son was killed by a drunk driver; that is an observation.  While a judgment might be: All drunk drivers can go to hell! There is an emotional charge in judgment. When we release our emotional pain of judgment, then it no longer has a strong hold on us. 

‘Becoming Mindful and Aware’ is a life changing workshop. David R. Hawkins M.D., Ph.D., the author of Power vs. Force explains that one of the best ways to learn is through other people’s tragedies, so we don’t have to live through them. When we experience a story of tragedy, we can find deep compassion in our heart and have a greater understanding of the mind, and how it takes over the heart when it is in fear and drives. Similar to our personal tragedy, we survived a head on collision and lost our only child. Our book, Hitting Fear Head On, will take you to your knees creating an understanding for a new depth of love and forgiveness.  

Another great tool is Non-Violent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg. His book teaches a skill set that will unplug emotions and prevents short circuiting our thinking and throws us back into judgment.

Meditation and prayer both deepen the Spirit, which allow the mind to be peaceful. It takes discipline and time to feel the sustainability with the energy of the Holy Spirit and the Grace of God. This Easter weekend, we can judge and be crucified with the enslavement of sin, or we can unplug from the judgmental energy field and resurrect ourselves into the conscious Heart, Mind, and Soul of Jesus Christ and treat ourselves to golden baked cookies.

Happy Easter!

Love Biff, Laurie and Preston from Heaven

Posted by LaurieBoggs at April 18, 2014 3:38 am | Comments Off on Crucifixion or Resurrection
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“Courage is walking in God’s Light Mom!”

Preston persisted, “Mom, go to the elementary school and just sit among children.”  Resisting his wisdom with my health, immune system issues, and fear, I denied his plea. Healing the grief has happened in the spiritual realm, but there’s a void of not having a physical child around me. The anticipation of walking into a school full of children created an emotional upheaval of the life I was missing out on.

“Courage is walking in God’s LIGHT Mom!”

Preston’s words triggered me. Taking a deep breath I walked into the classroom of 3rd graders, the same year Preston would have been in before he passed. The children looked curious and in wonder as I stood by their teacher. Empathically connecting with each child, tears came to my eyes; I felt embraced by their energy. There was a big difference walking into a room of adults vs. children. They were warm, open, and welcomed me into their classroom.

Swallowing my pride while whispering to the teacher, I confided, “I may get confused helping the children because of my brain injury.” She nodded and suggested I go sit at a table with four boys. Taking another deep breath, I sat down by a little boy with uncombed hair, big holes in his pants and huge brown eyes, just like Preston; he smiled.

Reading over the instructions in the worksheet, I felt ashamed because I did not understand them. The four boys looked at me waiting for assistance with their math assignment. Bowing my head, I looked into their eyes and said, “I don’t understand, can you help me?” A sense of relief swept across the table as the boys realized that an adult has math problems too.  

Since the crash, the brain injury has been a real challenge, because people have heavily judged me; they do not understand the complexity of a brain injury. However, the children’s energy was safe; they accepted me without any reaction. Our learning experience turned into an interdependent discussion. Each child tried to teach me as they tried to understand their own assignment. We contemplated as we read each question. 

Later, I shared my day at school with my husband who has a degree in elementary education. With enthusiasm he replied, “You had them teach you! What a great way for them to feel empowered, learn, and grow!”  

Courage gave me the LIGHT to walk past my fear and find Heaven on Earth that day.

What stretch can you give yourself today, to walk past the fear of facing your grief? Are you afraid that your loved one won’t hear you or you won’t hear your loved one? Sometimes the emotions are so strong it can be frustrating to hear past the noise of our own logical mind, but don’t give up! Persistence is key to developing your connection; feel through the fear of not connecting. If nothing happens, accept what is in this moment. It may be rejection; accept rejection, allow it to enter into the space. If tears arise, release them, which opens your heart, and then surrender the need to connect. This will create room within for a deep bond to cultivate.

Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven
©Copyright 2007 & Revised 2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at April 11, 2014 9:33 pm | Comments Off on “Courage is walking in God’s Light Mom!”
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Did You Lose Your Identity?

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, a saint is one of the spirits of the departed in heaven. (This is where we’re going).

 In my first few years of grief, I identified with the grief, it wrapped around me like a snake sometimes taking away my breath. In my sadness, a dusty wall of stone blocked me. My heart ached with no way out or hope of really being heard. My body felt as if it were on fire, it was as if hell had torched every cell with the dark desire to keep my son alive no matter his condition. I was overwhelmed, losing misplaced color-coded notebooks filled with jumbled thoughts and the illusion of logic. Furthermore, detailed written directions slipped though my damaged brain leaving me with what felt like scrambled eggs.

To my ego, all this appears to be perfectly sane, except the umbilical cord to my safe comfort zone is cut and my old self is reborn with grief and despair. I am a mourning mother without a child, broken, lost and alone, existing without a label or title for an identity, except to the shackles of misery.

“Hi Mom, I’m playing with the dolphins.”  

Why did you leave me Preston? How could you?  Water is your playground while I am drowning in sorrow? Breaking me from these thoughts, an email arrives from a friend in Hawaii. She is telling me Preston came to her as a casual acquaintance, saying, “Tell my Mom to get out of her depression. She has work to do and her depression is interfering.”    

In humbled humility I asked Preston, Who am I? What is my identity? Why am I here? 

You’re a saint, Mom!”

 A saint?  Come on, Preston, you expect me to believe that?

 “Yep, go look it up in the dictionary. It says we are all from Heaven, you’re all SAINTS, you just forget.”   


Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven

©2007 Revised 2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 12, 2013 6:09 am | Comments Off on Did You Lose Your Identity?
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What is Accountability?

Have you ever asked yourself why some people in your life are not accountable? What does accountable mean? According to the Webster dictionary it’s answerable, responsible, and liable to be called to account. After much soul searching, I realized that I have endured life instead of looking forward to what it held next. I created a pattern of people not being accountable in my life. I always felt if I am accountable to my word and to others, then they would be accountable to me. This is not necessarily the case.  Although it is important that we be accountable to others the first lesson is to become accountable to ourselves.

Like most of the patterns in our lives, mine started in childhood. Both of my parents suffered from the disease of alcoholism and were unaccountable for the responsibility of raising children. Alcohol became their priority, not the children they birthed. I learned to survive in a world where my parents did not deliver on their promises. I also was intimidated by my father’s behavior when he was drunk, especially when he would insist on driving while drunk. When I was afraid, I was taught to be quiet, because if I said anything, I could cause an uproar in our already chaotic family. I did not want to be a burden to my parents. My dad would call me “another mouth to feed.” I also learned that when people weren’t accountable, I felt forced to try to control everything around me in order to survive. It was the only stability I had to hold on to. What I did not know is I was creating a world of insanity, a world of being out of control, not in control.

As I matured, I had an open wound; it became a place that others of the same caliber saw the empty hole of pain, and helped to dig the hole deeper by not being accountable. They showed it in their actions, by continuously misleading people for their own selfish motives.

It’s as if I was a mirror reflecting to the world, “You don’t have to be accountable to me!” Then the worst day of my life happened. We were hit head on by a drunk driver, again one with no accountability! My only child Preston was killed; he had just turned eight. Preston was a miracle after seven years of infertility, three miscarriages, and four surgeries. The really sad part is the drunk driver had his own children in the vehicle. A little boy the same age as my son, and his six-year-old daughter were killed. In addition, the drunk driver died, along with his girlfriend. Another accountability issue was that he was a repeat offender with no insurance. Five people died that ugly day while my husband and I barely survived.

We were surprised to learn that after enduring such a senseless tragedy, the people in our lives who we thought would be accountable, were not. People that we would have expected to help us, such a victim advocates and law enforcement.  Some (not all) of them let us down, and we were caught in the cycle of power games for their own gain causing us additional pain, as if our grief and injuries were not enough. I had to ask myself, why does this cycle continue in my life? Years later, this pattern still haunts me. I still find that people around me do not follow through for me on projects I am working on. They seem really excited and willing to help but when life gets in the way, I feel like I have been put on the backburner.  Although I know most people have good intentions, I am at times, left feeling like a victim.  

It is now time to move to the front burner with a completed project with sincere thanks to all of those who have helped me along the way. I know I need to be accountable for creating this pattern in my life in order to heal it. As I have looked deep within my soul,  God has provided me with the answers. How can I expect people to be accountable to me when I am not accountable to myself? There are many layers of emotional components to heal with accountability. I have learned that judging others is not being accountable because when we judge another we are judging ourselves. When I try to control others, I not only do them a disservice, but also myself. I cannot control anyone but myself. I have also learned that trusting my own intuition and having faith in God are the keys to my healing and survival. This empowers me to express my needs.

Another component to healing accountability issues is to notice what we are projecting to the world. As I continue to heal, I see that I have projected low self-worth. I have continued to carry the energy of being a burden. I understand why people would put my project on the backburner, when I am projecting the energy of negative baggage. Why would they want to take on this baggage? This is another place that I am learning that I need to be accountable to myself; I am worthy of help from others. Now that I have changed my energy by being accountable to my thought patterns, I can shine light on this dark place. I am so very thankful for all of the help from the people in my life. Those that have been accountable and for those that have not. For those that have, thank you for seeing through the darkness I wore of low self-worth. For those that have not, thank you for taking your time, keeping my project on the back burner, so I could find the way to heal myself. What a wonderful gift God has given me. To see how much I am cherished in the Natural Laws of the Universe.

Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven

Revised 2013
©copyright 2006

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 11, 2013 4:43 am | Comments Off on What is Accountability?
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Cell Memory

Ever since the crash that took the life of our only son, Preston, the cells of my body wake me up like an alarm clock. The July 24th anniversary date is hard enough because I relive the pain, magnifying the grief that is still present. I continue to heal my mind and heart but my cells remember the horror of the crash as if it happened yesterday.     

For three years, premonitions invaded my psyche with ‘he is going to die.’ I felt I had done everything in my power to save my son, and repressed the thoughts with every waking moment, which proved to be agonizing to my body.

It felt like I had been weighted down by a boat anchor, while I waited for dooms day. I remember when Preston wanted to play catch.

“Please Mom, come play.”  Looking into Preston’s big brown eyes, I would ask myself  is this the last time I will see him?  With the thought of knowing of his death foremost in my mind, I succumbed to his pleading.

Holding back the energetic tidal wave of emotions, I rolled over to move from the bed, my head heavy and my unyielding shoulders collapsing with the fear of being unable to save his life.  As I pulled myself up, every muscle ached and my blood felt like sand as it traveled through each vessel.

“Throw the ball, Mom.” I tried to run and play, experiencing the fun with him.  His eyes lit up when he hit a ball into the outfield, laughing while moments of joy shone through the bleakness of the unknowing. I wondered if we would play again. That was our last time.

I am happy to have the cherished memories…even the painful ones help me to see how hard I tried to save his LIFE. 

Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven

©copyright 2007

First Edition 6/2007
Revised 11-2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 11, 2013 4:36 am | Comments Off on Cell Memory
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Guilt a No WIN!

In line waiting to be checked out at the grocery store, I remembered another item I had almost forgotten. I quickly walked to the needed aisle and was glancing at the products to find my brand.  From behind me, a lady is talking with her friend, stating that this particular product has caffeine in it and it is for her twelve-year old daughter. She is having menstrual cramps. 

 I couldn’t keep quiet and suggested she try Cramp Bark from a natural food store.  I became very grounded and opened up my heart, as this woman explained the tragedy they had been living through.  First, her husband had a stroke and he was only 47. Then the government lost his social security records, even though he had paid taxes for the last 30 years. That meant they were unable to get any assistance. I listened intently with empathy and suggested her church. With a furrowed brow, she looked down to the floor as she humbly explained that she was fired from her church. I replied, “How? I had never heard of anyone being fired from their church.”  With fury she said, “I was late one day. I taught the preschool children for the church. My daughter needed a ride to school. I was not going to allow her to walk because we have several pedophiles living in our neighborhood.”  I again embraced her spirit while she continued.  I had twenty dollars in my pocket to buy my groceries; part of me wanted to hand it over…but then my mind got in the way.  I hugged her and told her I would keep her and her family close to my heart and in my prayers.

Driving home, the guilt beat-up stick came out and attacked me. Reinforcing how selfish I was not to give this stranger the twenty dollars.  While processing, I because confused – if I would have given this women the twenty dollars, would I be showing her the rewards she can collect from her sad story? Or is this none of my business…and should I have  given it to her because my heart said to? Why did I make money more important than my worth?

After speculating, I realized…there was no right or wrong way to handle this universal workshop.  No one heals, especially when they hold onto the guilt card. I may have given  the lady empathy, compassion, and understanding, but she showed me the game my mind plays when it comes to guilt. I am in deep gratitude to see how guilt runs me.  

Please pray for this family, as we all know that is the true abundance.  

Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven
©copyright 2007
First Edition 9-2007Revised 11-2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 11, 2013 4:22 am | Comments Off on Guilt a No WIN!
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A Hard Lesson Learned

My husband and I went on a 10-day Vipassana Retreat (of silence) in Sun Valley, Idaho. We meditated for 11 hours a day observing sensations within our bodies. This was my 5th time and every experience has been different. The body is like nature, always changing. 

 I observed that my body felt like sludge, dark, and stuck. It portrayed exactly where my life was. I felt like I was stuck, spinning my wheels as I tried to get the book edited and published. Patiently, I stayed in the present moment and quietly explored the muck in my body. Humbled, working harder by observing my darkness, I realized it was created from the negative thoughts in my mind.  I felt wedged between the polarity of light and dark. 

 Later, I visited my favorite place in our campsite, smelling the fresh pine trees and watching the chipmunks capture a crumb. On the trail, I found a dead bird and sadness washed over me. Right away I received the message of death and rebirth. I took care of the bird and placed him where nature could take its course, thanking him for sacrificing his life to show me new beginnings. 

 During the next meditation session, I continued to observe and feel my body’s sensations change. I fully understood why I have pain in my body. At one point, the pain was so intense, it felt like I had swallowed fire. Moments later, the inferno birthed what felt like an octopus perched over my right breast. Its tentacles wrapped around my chest cavity, under my arm, attaching to my back like a blood sucker living off my life force.  It had its own rhythm – its breath was opposing mine. The monster within was thriving on me. We took a short break, drinking hot lemon water with honey. The drink soothed me as I contemplated what was inside.

 Back to meditating, the unknown force was no longer murky, light had opened up the bottleneck of darkness and the mud like substance started to dissolve into quicksand. Surprised, I heard Preston in my head. “The bird died by flying into the cabin window. He did not watch where he was going. Watch out Mom!” Hmm, I wondered what that meant.

 On the ninth day, the firestorm had cooled down to friendly embers of a warm fire. With extreme present moment observation, the octopus faded away into liquid, free, and flowing. I observed the ocean within, surfing the tidal waves, washing away any shadowy energy that was no longer serving me. The mind was liberated for the time being, not attaching to anything that would cause aversion or desire, only a neutral place of peace.   

 We came home feeling lighter.  I wondered what happened with the book while I was gone. Unexpectedly, the agent was no longer supporting the book project due to unforeseen circumstances.  No wonder Preston had said, “Watch out!” I had been blind-sided. I let myself down by not listening to my intuition; something did not feel right from the very beginning. However, I got caught up with ego, and in my excitement I allowed myself to be persuaded instead of staying in my power.  It was a hard lesson to learn; not to allow others opinions to influence me when I know the answer. I observed my reactions. For a moment, thoughts of suicide swept over me; despair haunted me, it felt as if I lost my baby again. I took a deep breath, allowed the tears to flow, and then the light prevailed.

 I am learning to no longer attach to form or identity, just be pure unconditional love, which is our true nature. My passion is to glorify God’s light to the world. Love will ultimately lead me to my destination of shinning within! This is true authentic success.

 Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven

©2007 copyright

First Edition 11-2007
Revised Edition 11-2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 11, 2013 4:21 am | Comments Off on A Hard Lesson Learned
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Co-mingling with Energy

The meaning of Solstice: Solstice” is derived from two Latin words: “Sol” meaning sun, and “sistere,” to cause to stand still. This is because, as the solstice approaches, the noonday sun rises higher and higher in the sky on each successive day. On the day of the solstice, it has risen an imperceptible amount compared to the day before. In this sense, it “stands still.”

With this beautiful definition, it is worth asking ourselves how we commingle our energy.  How do we find that still place within us to find the answers that will be our guide? How do we bring reactions, behaviors, and control issues to the front lines? By observing the changes we need to make, and being aware of how we treat each other?

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

  1. How do I share and express my opinions?
  2. Am I attached to them?  If so, what is my energy doing to those around me?  Or  how is my energy affecting me?
  3. What are my attachments? ie: fear, safety, security.
  4. Does my energy cause expansion or does it cause contraction?
  5. What am I projecting on others?
  6. Can I be accountable for the projections?
  7. How do our thoughts and words affect our vibration and those around us?
  8. Give an example of when you gave your power away?  What did it feel like?
  9. Give an example of when you stayed in your power…what did it feel like?
  10. Be aware that every time you judge, you give your power away.

 A quote from Jane Sorbi,White Eagle Lodge

 “We can now begin to see the great beauty of our spiritual path and the tools we have been given to use.  Always, there are the two parameters through which we must choose to find balance; the positive and negative, the light and the darkness, always the duality, the two providing the necessary stimulating force.  Through the balancing of these, comes the discovery of the One.  A beautiful paradox!”

 With light on the horizon…duality is a game to play if you wish, or you can go directly to the Light and be so Bright, darkness cannot penetrate the field, allowing Light, Love & Freedom to be your new destination.

 Be creative; what vibration do you wish to create in the coming Solstice of this New Year?

Much Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven

©copyright 2008
First Edition12/2008
Revised Edition 11/2014

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 11, 2013 4:16 am | Comments Off on Co-mingling with Energy
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A Key to Face Fear

One night I had a dream about duality. My dream portrayed a brisk morning, with a blanket of fresh sparkling snow. The sun illuminated the fresh blue sky as I drove to a friend’s house. The breathtaking beauty that God created was unexpectedly interrupted with black sludge gushing down the gutters of the street. Staying present and observing the unpredictable power of this unwavering creature produced awareness within me. Unfortunately, I found myself stuck at a dead end. Shocked, I breathed deeply and grounded intensely in pure consciousness; I embraced the mystery of this dark entity. It crept around me, trying to feed off me as if I was its only means for survival. 

With crystal clear and extremely intent observation, a change began to happen. The murky discharge altered its form. The sludge separated and grew into something similar to cockroaches with wings. Flying around as if insanity had captured them in a cage, hundreds of these bugs filled the air. Sensing intimate danger, an eerie unsettledness washed over me. Staying focused and stable with clear intention, I noticed their power had diminished, because they no longer appeared to be one connected organism.   

 I remained calm and present as I parked my car, still noticing their glare with crimson pulsating eyes. They stared at me and I kindly held a space of compassion for them, as I allowed God’s light to shine through me.  Breathing deeply, I made it to my friend’s house. Rosemary gave me herbs to dissolve any remnants of the sludge that I may have digested. She explained to me that my courageous presence prevented the creatures from invading me because my light was too bright. Rosemary and her daughter were getting dressed as if they were from the movie Ghostbusters. They were working on dissolving the misguided forms. They explained that people become sick because they give their power away to this force by reacting in fear.   

 I awoke in a peaceful serene state…laughing because Rosemary had just invited me to her dream workshop a few weeks ago. I haven’t attended her workshop yet, so if there are any dream analyzers out there I would love your feedback. Thank you for allowing me to share my subconscious mind.

 Much Love Laurie and Preston from Heaven

©copyright 2008
First Edition 2008
Revised Edition 2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 11, 2013 4:05 am | Comments Off on A Key to Face Fear
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Void of Nonexistence – NDE

As the bliss of expanding nothingness embraced me, I rejoiced. Finally in profound peace; I am Home. Abruptly, the unpleasant surprise of a sting across my face…then yelling, ‘don’t die!’ The nurse slapped me numerous times to awaken me from the silent stillness I have yearned for my entire life.  

Furious, I looked into her eyes. Thoughts of wonder crossed my weary mind. Why did you stop me from going Home? I was within the vast sea of universal peace, the welcomed vortex of emptiness with no attachments, only freedom. 

Upon awaking from my coma, I tried explaining to my husband, Biff, this place has no words to describe it. Unlike the other near death experience I had, there was vivid color filled with animation, while this one was an inner voyage of space with no ending.

It has been an adventure trying to find this serene abyss again. Eight years later I finally found it with Vipassana Meditation. “It is our true nature to be in an expansive field in the void of nonexistence. It brings an inner harmony to our essence, which supports our body, mind, and soul while on this earthly plane. We just have to know how to tap into it.      

If you have an opportunity to go to a retreat ( you will learn the techniques that will bring you calmness throughout the storms, lift you to the stars, and allow your true nature to manifest…

We Love you!

Laurie and Preston from Heaven

©copyright 2008
First Edition 4-2008
Revised Edition 11-2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 10, 2013 5:53 am | Comments Off on Void of Nonexistence – NDE
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Déjà vu

A ringing phone woke me from a sound sleep; my Caller ID read, “Lisa,” a dear friend.  Ah, what a lovely way to wake up. “Hello Lisa, how are you sweetheart?”

After an eerily quiet pause, she cried hysterically, “My brother Johnny and nephew Jonah were killed last night. Another driver crossed into their lane and hit them head-on! They were killed instantly, along with the other driver.”                                                     

Am I dreaming? I already lived this nightmare once and now again, déjà vu… replaying the memories.

Seconds later the internal voice from my womb wailed out in sheer distress, understanding the deep meaning of this loss. I howled with an agonizing “NO! Not another child, and Johnny, not his beautiful soul.” The wailing would not stop. My solar plexus heaved up painful cries of misery. Ironically, I buried my son Preston exactly eight years ago to this date because a drunk driver killed him.

Later we found out the driver was under the influence. There were so many similarities to our crashes. They both happened in the late afternoon. Both drivers died, along with innocent young children.

Johnny was a 33-year-old drummer and flute player. Children were drawn to him. He had the essence of Jesus. His son, Jonah, was a three-year-old charm, a free spirit like his dad.  Jonah, a crystal child, with big brown eyes and striking blonde hair, always radiated love.

Even though years have passed, some days it still feels like yesterday.  At other times, it feels like a lifetime since we were with our loved ones. The emptiness turns into space which allows more of their light to shine through us…at least that is how I made it all these years. 

I hope sharing this blog again, helps remind people not to drink and drive…it is not worth it!

Thank you for allowing me to release and share the pain as I walk this path. Your prayers are very much appreciated.    

We love you.

Love Laurie, Preston, Jonah and Johnny from Heaven
©copyright 2007 

First Edition 9-2007
Revised Edition 11-2013

Posted by LaurieBoggs at December 10, 2013 5:46 am | Comments Off on Déjà vu
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